Impossible to Inevitable: Evan Wolfson's Blueprint for Change
The architect of marriage equality shares lessons from past victories to navigate today’s political threats.
Evan Wolfson knows about defying the odds. In 1983, he argued for same-sex marriage in his Harvard Law thesis—an idea dismissed as impossible at the time. Three decades later, he led Freedom to Marry to a nationwide victory. Now, as LGBTQ rights and democracy face renewed threats, Wolfson’s strategic insights are more urgent than ever. In a recent conversation on Wide Awake America, he shared his take on the current landscape and what comes next.
Listen to the full interview here:
"We Had to Shake Those Pillars of Oppression"
Wolfson explains how the fight for marriage equality pushed people to rethink their values. “It would force people to grapple with values and the emerging understanding of who gay people, who trans people are. We had to shake those pillars of oppression.”
For a long time, progress seemed impossible. The work was slow, exhausting, and sometimes felt futile. But in hindsight, the legal battles, public education, and relentless storytelling created the shift that made marriage equality possible.
“We’ve been in dark times before,” Wolfson says. “Yes, bad things will happen, but good things will too—if we keep doing the work.”
Lessons from Marriage Equality for Today’s Battles
We are now in another critical moment, with LGBTQ rights, voting access, and democracy itself under siege. The opposition is using familiar tactics: moral panics, disinformation, and fearmongering. But just as the marriage movement overcame these forces, today’s fight can do the same—if we are strategic.
Wolfson stresses that persuasion matters more than arguing with the most entrenched opponents. “We don’t need everyone to agree—we need enough,” he says. That means reaching those who are open to understanding and speaking to their values.
The Backlash to the Backlash
A key lesson from marriage equality is that even defeats can fuel progress. When Proposition 8 banned same-sex marriage in California and Florida passed a similar measure in 2008, many thought the fight was over. Instead, support for LGBTQ rights surged.
“The organizing we did to try to stop this transformed our state,” Smith recalls. “The volunteers we built in that fight stayed engaged.”
Wolfson agrees. “The right-wing rushed to shut things down, but in doing so, they forced the conversation. That made more people rethink their position and, in many places, moved public opinion forward.”
The same dynamic is at play with today’s attacks on trans rights. Despite relentless right-wing messaging, polls show that many Americans are rejecting their cruelty. “They spent millions pushing anti-trans attacks,” Smith says, “but what it provoked in many people was curiosity and empathy.”
Wolfson likens it to a slingshot: “They think they’re pulling us backward, but they’re actually creating the tension that will propel us forward.”
How We Fight Back
Despite today’s grim political climate, Wolfson remains hopeful. He believes history proves we can win if we pair bold vision with smart strategy.
“Change doesn’t happen overnight,” he says. “We have to move people, meet them where they are, and build coalitions to push forward.”
He warns, though, that progress won’t happen on its own. “They will cause chaos, spread fear, and try to wear people down. But we must organize, mobilize, and give people a hopeful alternative.”
The key is balancing pragmatism with vision. “We need to call out corruption, but we also need to paint a picture of the society we want: one that is just, inclusive, and thriving.”
What’s Next for Evan Wolfson?
Wolfson isn’t slowing down. He’s currently working on a book—not just about a road trip, but about how a journey through the South visiting civil rights landmarks shaped his vision for marriage equality. The experience of seeing firsthand the battlegrounds of the civil rights movement cemented his belief that mapping a strategy for LGBTQ rights had to be rooted in history, activism, and a clear legal pathway forward.
“It was that trip—seeing those sites, feeling that history—that inspired me to write the marriage equality roadmap,” he says.
For those looking for inspiration, Wolfson’s journey is a reminder: change happens when people commit to making it real.